John ***
I was still in bed early this morning when my fiancee came around, dragging her luggages with her. She was wearing a wedding dress.
She wasn’t alone. She had come with her parents and some mean-looking kinsmen.
“Where is that lizard you call your boyfriend!?” Her father yelled before kicking my door open with his right foot.
“He is right here, Papa” My fiancee replied in a grumpy tone.
I was now wide awake but it seems like a dream. These were the last faces I ever wanted to see.
“Bia Nnamdi!” Her father began, clearing his throat “We have come to do the needful”
The old man gestured at someone standing behind him and the person provided him a two-piece suit. He then flung the clothes at me.
“I don’t understand, what’s happening here?” I found my voice and turned to my fiancee “Monica, what’s the meaning of this?”
“Bia nwokem!” Monica’s father began “How many years have you dated my daughter?”
“And what sort of a question is that!?” I flared up “You barged into my house this early to interrogate me? who are you?”
The old man gestured at Monica and she nodded. Monica suddenly pulled out a pistøl from her handbag and pointed it at me.
I grew cold
“Are you now ready to answer my question or answer your call to glory?” Monica’s father quipped
Sir, sir” I stuttered “We dated just nine years”
The kinsmen began to grumble.
“You call nine years ‘Just’… eh!?” Her father yelled at me “Oya get dressed osiso!”
“Dressed for what sir?” I asked
“For cultural dance!” He teased “Are you blind? can’t you see what your wife is wearing?”
“Am sorry sir but am not ready to settle down yet!” I declared
“Monica, shoot his left leg…” Her father ordered. Monica corked the gun.
“No no no no!” I pled “Okay okay I will”
I swiftly got into the clothes with the speed of light. One of the kinsmen brought out an agreement booklet and I was asked to sign it under duress. The gun was still pointing to my head.
Two rings were also provided and right there in my room we were joined as husband and wife.
We also took pictures and I was asked to upload them on my social media handles.
“Congratulations!” The kinsmen shook my hands one by one as they departed.
“Now you’re a man!” Monica’s father hailed me shortly before leaving “In nine months time, we’ll come visiting…”
I burst into tears.
