Dating in Lagos: So Many Talking Stages, Still No Relationship

If you’re single in Lagos and actively trying to date, God’s strength to you. Because this streets no be beans..

One day you’re talking every night, exchanging “have you eaten?” texts and dropping inside jokes like you’re building a future together. Next day? They go ghost like NEPA during thunderstorm

No fight, no wahala—just full disappearance. They’ve gone from “good morning, babe” to posting “soft life” captions with someone else in the background.

This city will humble you emotionally.

Dating in Lagos is not dating. It’s mostly vibes, confusion, and premium talking stages that never reach any destination.

You’re either being managed, kept on hold, or used to “pass time” before they settle for someone else.

And when you try to DTR (Define The Relationship)? Network go suddenly hang.

What Is the Talking Stage Anyway?Let’s define it for the people in the back:
Talking stage = that awkward period where you’re vibing, emotionally investing, but not officially dating.

No titles. No labels. Just “good morning” texts and soft promises like, “I really like where this is going.”

But spoiler alert: it rarely goes anywhere.

Lagos Dating Culture: Just Vibes and InshallahLagos is fast. The people? Even faster.

Work stress, wicked traffic, unrealistic expectations, peer pressure from soft life crew, and the fear of being served breakfast… it’s a lot.

So these days, most people just want the companionship—but without the wahala of actual commitment.

You’ll hear:

“Let’s not rush things”

“I’m not ready, but I like you”

“I’m focusing on myself” (but they still want you around at night)Everyone is forming chill, but deep down? It’s vibes and manipulation with a sprinkle of confusion. And if you make the mistake of catching feelings too quick? Boom—you’re suddenly “too deep,” “too emotional,” or “doing too much.”

Meanwhile, they’re the ones that called you “baby” on day two.

Everyone Has Options—Too Many OptionsLet’s be honest—dating apps have made it easy to rotate people like playlist songs.

While you’re saving their voice note like it’s a podcast, they’re replying “with love emoji” to 3 other people. Emotional connection now feels like a competition.

In this economy, people are dating for attention, not intention.

Ghosting Is Now a Love LanguageIn Lagos, ghosting is the new “It’s not you, it’s me.”

One minute you’re planning date night, the next minute they’ve disappeared, posted beach pics, and blocked you from seeing their story.

No fight. No warning. Just vibes and gone.

Situationships: Romantic PurgatoryYou’ve met their friends. You talk every day. You do couple things. But ask what this is and suddenly, network dey.

Many Lagosians are stuck in situationships because:

They don’t want to be alone

They’re scared of commitment

Or they’re waiting for something better to come alongWhy People Stay (Even When It’s Not Going Anywhere)Hope: “Maybe they’ll come around”

Loneliness: “At least I’m not alone”

Chemistry: “But the connection is mad!”

Comfort: “I don’t want to start over again”Sometimes, it’s easier to stay in limbo than to start from scratch.

Lagos dating is a jungle. But if you stay true to yourself, set boundaries, and protect your peace, you’ll be fine.

Until then, may your talking stages come with direction—and not just data consumption