Nigerian women reject marriage as the ultimate measure of their worth

In Nigeria, the ticking of the biological clock is not just a personal concern, it is a societal drumbeat that becomes deafening for women as they approach 30. The pressure to marry before a certain age is ever-present, and for many, it is a source of constant stress.

Yet, a growing number of women are breaking away from these expectations, carving out their paths and redefining what marriage means to them, on their terms.

Women’s Choice April 2025 poll by BusinessDay explored women’s views on marriage after 30, which revealed the deeply embedded pressures they face, with most respondents expressing frustration at the societal assumption that their lives are incomplete without a husband. A large portion of the participants described the relentless judgment they faced, with many feeling labelled as undesirable or leftover if they had not married by 30. The result? Feelings of loneliness, regret, and even shame. But, despite the overwhelming societal pressure, women are fighting back. They are questioning the timeline society has set for them, and the answers are anything but conventional.

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What stands out in the responses is the strong support system many women have built, one that has helped them resist the external pressure to marry before they are ready. For many, career goals have provided a solid foundation, empowering them to focus on their professional growth. Therapy, self-help resources, and strong friendships have also played a crucial role in bolstering confidence and resilience, helping them reject the notion that their self-worth is tied to their marital status.

However, the pressure does not end with individual choices, it is deeply rooted in cultural expectations. The overwhelming focus on bearing children and the idea that women’s roles are defined by marriage and motherhood continue to be significant challenges. The poll indicates that many women feel limited by these societal norms, which often reduce them to their ability to marry or have children, leaving their achievements and individuality largely unacknowledged.

Respondents were vocal in calling for a cultural transformation, one that recognises marriage as a personal choice, not a societal obligation. They stressed the need for greater financial independence, education, and self-empowerment for women, arguing that these factors should be celebrated over traditional expectations. Many also highlighted that patriarchy needs to be dismantled, allowing women to make choices about their lives without fear of judgment.

What became clear is that while the pressure to marry by 30 is still deeply entrenched in Nigerian society, more and more women are taking a stand. They are choosing self-empowerment and personal development over conforming to outdated ideals. They are proving that a woman’s value is not determined by her marital status, and that choosing when—or whether—to marry is a decision that should be theirs to make.

As these women continue to challenge the status quo, one thing is certain: the conversation about marriage in Nigeria is changing. The pressure to marry before 30 may still be a heavy weight for many, but a growing movement is shifting the narrative, one that places individual choices and empowerment at the centre of the conversation.

The question now is: Will society follow?