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When your mother asks, “Do you want a piece of advice?” it is a mere formality. It doesn’t matter if you answer yes or no. You’re going to get it anyway. — Erma Bombeck

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    Some men, like a wet dog, sprinkle a shower of advice over you when you are least prepared for a bath. — Austin O’Malley

    When a man comes to me for advice, I find out the kind of advice he wants, and I give it to him. — Josh Billings